Hemet Valley
Adult Addiction
Recovery Center

Chemical dependency is a disease which affects not only the addicted person, but also the family members and significant others. Chronic alcoholism/drug addiction becomes the central, organizing theme in an alcoholic family. No one can grow up in an alcoholic/drug dependent family, or live in one without it changing them. The alcoholic/addict is impaired and, in turn contributes to the impairment of his or her family members. Since the 1970's, chemical dependency treatment research has indicated that family involvement can significantly improve the patient's chances of recovery as well as increase family cohesion and individual functioning.

The Family Program at the Recovery Center is designed to educate family members about the disease of chemical dependency and to help them recognize how living with the disease has changed them. Just as the reality of the alcoholic becomes distorted through denial and rationalization about his or her addiction, families of an alcoholic/addict also suffer from denial or lack of insight.

The Family Program at the Hemet Valley Recovery Center is offered in an intensive four day program designed for out of town participants or for families who find it difficult participate for extended periods of time. For local families or those who work during the day a concurrent family program is available on Monday and Wednesday evenings while the identified patient is in treatment. No other changes to the Family section.

In a closed, addicted family system, members learn to lie about the condition of the alcoholic/addict due to shame or the need to maintain appearances. The process begins:

The family becomes substance seeking detectives, and they anticipate and adapt to the moods or needs of the alcohol/addict at the expense of their own needs.

They feel responsible for other people's pain.

They feel inadequate and unloved.

They are afraid of open communication.

The children often overachieve, underachieve, or become invisible.

No one is getting emotional needs met, and all family members are learning skills for survival in an out-of-control environment. Most begin treatment believing only that their loved one needs help, stating, "I'm fine, really…"

Addressing the needs of the family in chemical dependency treatment has been shown to achieve several goals at once:

Lectures and group exercises help participants gain understanding and acceptance of chemical dependency as a family illness. Stepping outside of the dysfunctional system and sharing openly with others allows family members to take an honest look at what it has really been like for them living with the addicted person. New coping skills and tools are given and practiced which will unravel the reactive, controlling, and enabling behaviors which unwittingly help to maintain the disease. Breaking the unspoken rules of the alcoholic family: don't talk, don't trust, don't feel, creates an opening for recovery and healing. Individual family member's health is no longer dependent on whether the alcoholic or addict remains sober. If a family member works his or her own program of recovery, he or she can remain healthy and whole regardless of what the addict does.

Family participation increases patient compliance and motivation for recovery.

It changes the dysfunctional patterns of enabling and secrets by which the disease thrives.

Everyone is speaking the same language of personal recovery and building family cohesion based on greater well-being and health.

One person no longer has the power to disrupt the whole system. Each member can make conscious, self care choices/boundaries.

Education and increased awareness can prevent transmission of the disease down family lines.